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10月20日 记忆 记忆像是呼啸而来的列车 来时轰鸣着，掀起衣角，撩拨人的心弦 走时只剩下原地打转的灰尘，和空荡荡的寂寞 我就快要被吸入穿越时光的隧道 双脚却没有一丝挪动的力气 一些人来了，一些人走了 我的行囊里又剩下些什么 时间推着我前行 和过去一点一点撕裂，直到麻木 再回头去，才发现离原来已经那么远了 我好像已经忘了自己从哪里来 只有手中的车票告诉我要到哪里去 想要平静的看着他来他走 心底却泛起一层又一层的涟漪，冒着幻想的泡泡 期待着什么，盼望着什么，又落寞着什么 让未来到来，让过去过去 做到谈何容易 又是一年的十月，同样金色的美丽 在这个寒冷的季节 我只需要一个真心的拥抱 9月30日 爱上巧克力 午后安静的校园 秋风划落了一地树叶 阳光却固执而暖暖的洒在身上 坐在教室外的平台 摸出一块巧克力塞进嘴里 任由一丝丝的甜腻散开，溶化 然后泛出微笑 突然爱上巧克力 是因为它可以温暖我 还是因为我太快乐？ 9月18日 戏（二） 人生就像一场戏 偌大的舞台上不甘寂寞的人们总能唱出各种各样新奇的调调 未知的脚本和缭乱的布景曾令我沮丧而沉默 收起轻盈的舞步 在黑暗的角落冷眼旁观 我以为忽视了自己的存在便不会受到伤害 然而刺眼的光芒却令我疼痛加倍，直至低入尘埃 我想我终究还是耐不住寂寞 华丽的剧本由不得别人来主宰 在原地转了一个圈，早换了另一番天地 旧日的场景还未落幕 新的奏乐已悄然响起 安静的听得到心跳的时候 我的内心是如此平静，充实和满足 布景仍眼花缭乱 未来仍不可预知 然而此时我只关注自己的脚尖 只要昂首挺立 就能划出最美的弧线 心无他念，只需翩然起舞 9月12日 Chicago Airshow and Downtown 又得着空，整理点照片出来，都是一个月之前拍的了 8月15日那个周末是一年一次的airshow，正好被我赶上了，顺便去看看湖边的美景，这样的好天气实在太难得。      芝加哥河，两岸大部分都是酒店  芝加哥河边的松果楼，下面停车，上面住人，很有特色吧  Downtown夜景  学校orientation时租了双层观光车带我们逛downtown  我们的导游  火车站  CITI的大楼  歌剧院   Chicago Board of Trade  水族馆  Buckingham Fountain  Navy Pier   Downtown远景   就先贴这么多吧，嗯~ 8月12日 芝加哥 到芝加哥四天了，一直忙活着置办家具安顿新窝，今天才得着空，上来贴点这些天拍的照片 我住的那条街，离学校大概十分钟车程，因为离downtown很近，寸土寸金，一座楼挨着一座楼，每个楼门进去都有三四个住家   我住的楼，算比较新的房子了，可还是小，上下楼梯只能容下一个人，转三圈上去头都晕了   门口等校车的车站，校车经过包括东西校区在内的十几条街区，去学校很方便   通往学校的著名的taylor st.，两边布满各种各样的小餐馆，酒吧，花店，干洗店，银行什么的，到了晚上最热闹  虽然东西校区分隔，中间却住满了UIC的学生，职员和家属，整个十几条街区就像一个大学城，里面有小学，医院，酒店什么的，当然更少不了餐馆和酒吧，经常会看到一堆一堆的年轻人聚集在酒吧门口，或者在人行道上跑步。有那么一瞬间，我感到自己像是回到了休斯敦的Rice Village和Medical Center      University Hall，是学校最高的楼，有28层，经济系在7层   UIC Pavilion  UIC Forum  一街之隔的downtown，和学校只隔着一条高速公路，一个东，一个西   昨天摸索去了中国城买菜，原以为会离得很远，结果只离downtown 8分钟车程，比我家还近~！  天下为公的大红牌坊，进去就是熙熙攘攘的唐人街，小餐馆小超市遍地都是，说它小，跟休斯顿的几个大广场比起来，真是太挤了，大概老式的唐人街都是这样子，楼摞楼，楼挨楼，不过麻雀虽小，五脏俱全，各系菜式的餐馆全都有，周末腐败不用发愁了哈哈~    传说中的百佳超市，还没有丰泽园大，汗一个  芝加哥的夏天很凉爽舒适，因为空气干燥不潮湿，就算有大太阳晒着，吹来的风也是凉凉的，走在街上特别惬意 对着广告牌自拍一个   6月18日 肖申克之救赎 有人说 人生的道路虽然漫长 紧要处却常常只有几步 尤其是当人年轻的时候 而我想 也常常会有那么几步 跨出去需要极大的勇气和漫长的等待 当人生处在进退不能的瓶颈 唯一可以做的 就是调整好自己，压缩自己 在黑暗中弯腰前行 直到重见光明，重获自由 也许有怀疑，有不安，有恐惧，想要放弃 然而在这样狭小的空间 转身已是不可能 前方的出口才是继续前进的动力 速度只有一点点，力气也只有一点点 只有时间会把琐碎的努力积累成长长的通途 是对过去的救赎吗？ 我想，是对未来的兑现吧 6月12日 被上帝吻过的嗓音在09年欧洲冠军杯决赛现场
又听到了Andrea Bocelli的演唱
他被誉为拥有“被上帝吻过的嗓音”
虽然眼睛看不见
他的歌声和人格魅力却令他光芒四射
贴一个07年他演唱会上的一首歌-- Vivere 5月12日 特维斯 在曼联做了两年的板凳球员 贡献了33粒进球 在与曼城的比赛中，取代鲁尼首发，功不可没 然而今夏 这位悲情英雄却不得不离开自己深爱的球队 他说，“我并没有得到像家庭成员中的一员来对待， 我没有得到我想要的感觉。 对于我的现状我感到很悲哀， 我竭尽全力，但留下已经是非常非常困难的事情， 球迷们对待我像我的家庭，但曼联却没有签下我， 作为一名球员，我并没有得到他们足够的尊重。” 其实我挺为特维斯高兴 留在一个不够欣赏自己的球队里无异于慢性自杀 早晚自信会磨没，激情会耗尽 自己坚持的很辛苦，也得不到别人的认同和肯定 不是有句话说么，人为一口气，佛为一柱香 这一口气都不争，那不是白活了么 最喜欢的东西，却不一定是最适合自己的 放下了，说不定会发现另外一片天地 几年以后，在利物浦阿森纳切尔西如鱼得水的时候 再回过头看看，当初的悲哀和凄凉根本就不算啥了 为一个不懂得珍惜的人否定自己关闭未来，不值得 对球队是这样，对人也是这样 加油野兽！加油自己！ 4月11日 春天花会开本来想组织同学们去看野花来着
但看天气预报周末有雨便作罢
谁知Good Friday早晨起来就是个大晴天
跟LD商量了一下就直奔着德州著名的鳄鱼公园去了
有野花，还有鳄鱼
俺也穿上了粉嫩的花裙子臭美了一把
春天真是好啊真是好～～
3月27日 没有如果如果那天我们没有出去而是呆在家里
那么他就不会觉得寂寞
如果走时把他放进笼子里
那么他就不会到处乱跑
如果再把窗户关的严一些
那么他就不会跳出去
如果我们给他做一个狗项圈
那么也许会有好心人打电话给我们或者暂时收留他
如果来往的车辆能够稍微避让一下这只过马路的狗
那么他就不会倒在车轮下
如果我们早点回来早点去找他
那么他说不定就不会死
如果上面任何一种情况发生
那么都不会是现在的结局
可是，没有如果
Mikey，已经永远从我们的生活里消失了
狗的幸福那样简单
为什么还要残忍的剥夺
唉，两天了，还是会悲伤到不能自已。。。。。。
3月18日 直线的幸福喜欢手握一杯温热的摩卡
看店里的顾客进进出出
看街边的行人忙忙碌碌
看马路上汽车飞驰
看或悲或喜或匆匆或淡然的人生百态
阳光晃得人睁不开眼睛
春天，就这样不经意间来到了眼前
有人说，人类的幸福是直线型的
没有终点和尽头，没有停顿和迂回
一直向前延伸，向前延伸
而动物的幸福却是圆形的
那只叫做卡列宁的狗终日守在主人身边
吃饭，睡觉，玩耍；再吃饭睡觉玩耍
一直到老，死去，带着满足的微笑
人类的思维决定了他们做任何事都是有目的性的
我们承受不了没有任何意义，轻飘飘的人生
也承受不了周而复始的雷同和重复
猎奇和贪婪的本性促使我们去征服一个又一个新鲜的猎物
而征服过后却又陷入深而又深的失落
人类的幸福，也许只在征服那一刻
昙花一现，转瞬即逝。。。。。。
然而，我坚信幸福是一种心态
非财富，地位，名分可以计量
非他人可以给予和评说
更非惺惺作态，哗众取宠可以求得
幸福，是心灵的温暖，安全，强大，和自由
如果能够解开束缚心灵的桎梏
那么在浮华尘世中也能拥有一份从容与坦然
那么我们直线的幸福
即便看不到尽头
也可以心怀小小希望，坐看沿途的美妙风景 2月26日 光芒-- 张靓颖过程多快乐
我不再那么急迫 想要看到好的坏的所谓结果 但我学会了 在想哭的时刻 嘴角倔强向上扬着 随便说话的人为什么那么多 我很怀疑他们又有几个了解真的我 蜚短流长来去 我为什么一定要辩驳 我宁愿唱歌或者保持沉默 渺小的我 只要歌唱 就能看到光芒 风雨中玫瑰 只要扎根在土壤 总能够绽放 我受过的伤 一路上带我成长 谢谢你一直陪在我的身旁 天地之间 我的歌唱 也会是道光芒 让幸福经过痛苦慢慢的酝酿 温暖我心房 确定了飞翔 就不再收回翅膀 我相信最后总会找到梦想 谢谢你一直陪在我的身旁 1月20日 President Obama's inaugural addressMy fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition. Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebearers, and true to our founding documents. So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans. That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet. These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land -- a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights. Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics. We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness. In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the fainthearted -- for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and freedom. For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth. For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again, these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction. This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America. For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act -- not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do. Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage. What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government. Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control -- and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good. As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more. Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint. We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort -- even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you. For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace. To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist. To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it. As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all. For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate. Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends -- hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task. This is the price and the promise of citizenship. This is the source of our confidence -- the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny. This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed -- why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath. So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people: "Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet ［it］." America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations. 11月14日 黄石印象过了两个多月才开始写黄石 真是够迟了 之前也有几次想要写 却每次提起笔，又放下 像是总有一个结，解不开 直到昨日读到《海边的卡夫卡》中大岛说的话 仿佛才化开了心头的迷雾 他说：“在大自然中一个人孤零零的生活的确妙不可言， 但一直那样下去并不容易， 大自然这东西在某种意义上是不自然的， 安逸这东西在某种意义上是带有威胁性的， 而顺利接收这种悖反性则需要相应的准备和经验。 所以我们姑且返回城去， 返回社会与人们的活动中。” 对于黄石 我自始至终都是带着深深地震撼和敬畏 那如同莫奈的印象画般的朦胧与抽象已经定格在脑海中 只有浓与淡，光与影，和大块大块晕染并相互重叠的色彩 写实派是不适合黄石的 因为就像大岛说的 自然的背后是机械的原始规律 安逸的背后是残酷的生存法则 人类只能远远的观赏赞叹和艳羡 当真融入或拥有这样纯粹自然的生活 大概更多的是关心会不会被野兽吃掉的问题了 记得在黄石的最后一晚 我们开出公园到小镇上吃鹿肉，再回来时已是几近午夜 迂回蜿蜒的小路上没有半盏路灯，烟雾弥漫 除了反方向过来的两辆车外 两边只有看不到边际的黑暗和两堵高墙一样的山峦 那个时候，恐惧和紧张完全占据了我的思维 再也想不起来白天看到的暖暖的美景了 能够完全接收大自然的一切 无论光明与黑暗，悠闲与挑战，美丽与丑陋 是需要极大的勇气和包容度吧 也就是大岛说的相应的经验和准备 在黄石呆了四天，似乎已经达到了身体的极限 所以我们心满意足的返回到了日常生活的轨道上去 城市和社会才是能够给我们安全感的地方 下次，如果有下次 在有了充分的准备之后 来一次森林里的露营吧！ 11月6日 美国大选日前天是美国总统大选的日子 本来和我也没什么关系 巧的是我们餐厅就是投票点的其中之一 所以我有幸能够近距离见识一下到底这总统是怎么选出来的 投票开始的时间是早晨7点 我激动的扛着相机比平时上班提前了十分钟到 停车场上已经满满的了 餐厅外面的墙壁上贴了很多指示牌 告诉人们这里是312号投票点具体应该往哪里走什么的 当然还有我们趁机促销的lunch special的广告 投票点设在我们其中的一个酒吧 从city派来的法官们都各司其职的忙碌着 一个法官负责解答问题和维持秩序 五个法官负责找注册人的姓名，查ID，登记，发牌 另外两个给登记好的人安排投票机 然后投票人就可以到自己的机器上面按照指示投票了 如果顺利的话整个过程不会超过20分钟 我正看的带劲呢就被一个法官老爷爷叫住 要给他们弄点咖啡热茶冰水什么的 他们五点半就过来安装机器什么的也够辛苦了 带过来的早点muffin什么的还在旁边扔着没倒出功夫吃 于是乎就乖乖的回去准备 这边忙活完了把老爷爷老奶奶们哄开心了又被另一个貌似联络员的人叫住 说他是负责统计好几个投票点的投票人数的 嫌来回开车麻烦想要培养我为小联络员 就是每隔两个小时把来这里投票的人数通过电话报告给他 我当然很爽快的答应了 法官们到时会把人数贴在门上我只要跑过去看一眼就行了 不看不知道 来投票的人还真是多啊 早晨九点半就已经有将近三百人了 到了下午五点半最后一次统计的时候达到八百多人 估计到七点结束时能有上千人吧 还是有那么一点点羡慕美国的民主 虽然每个个人很渺小起不到什么决定性作用 可是能够被赋予这种权利已经是一个国家和政府给予的最大信任了 当得到这种信任时 我想即使再微不足道的人 也会想要负责任的为自己的国家做些什么 11月2日 十月，盛满阳光的颜色转眼间，又一个十月过去了 我终于朝着二十岁的尾巴尖开始迈进 今年休斯顿的秋季特别美 我想可能是因为每天透过办公室的玻璃窗就能看到 山，湖，树，天鹅，孔雀 给我平日的生活镀上了一层淡淡的金色 当浮华和喧嚣过去 留下的仍然是纯净的呼吸 和一双如新生般追逐爱和美的眼睛 如果真的有上帝的话 那我相信他一定是爱我的 他为我关上了一扇门 同时又打开了一扇窗 透过这扇窗 我看到了与以往完全不同的美丽风景 我不再哭泣 我会好好欣赏和珍惜眼前的景致 把心里的那扇窗打开 让阳光撒进来 10月20日 故都的秋 -- 郁达夫 秋天，无论在什么地方的秋天，总是好的；可是啊，北国的秋，却特别来得清，来 得静，来得悲凉。我的不远千里，要从杭州赶上青岛，更要从青岛赶上北平来的理由， 也不过想尝一尝这“秋”，这故都的秋味。 江南，秋当然也是有的；但草木雕得慢，空气来得润，天的颜色显得淡，并且又时 常多雨而少风；一个人夹在苏州上海杭州，或厦门香港广州的市民中间，混混沌沌地过 去，只能感到一点点清凉，秋的味，秋的色，秋的意境与姿态，总是看不饱，尝不透， 赏玩不到十足。秋并不是名花，也并不是美酒，那一种半开，半醉的状态，在领略秋的 过程上，是不合适的。 不逢北国之秋，已将近十余年了。在南方每年到了秋天，总要想起陶然亭的芦花， 钓鱼台的柳影，西山的虫唱，玉泉的夜月，潭柘寺的钟声。在北平即使不出门去罢，就 是在皇城人海之中，租人家一椽破屋来住着，早晨起来，泡一碗浓茶，向院子一坐，你 也能看得到很高很高的碧绿的天色，听得到青天下训鸽的飞声。从槐树叶底，朝东细数 着一丝一丝漏下来的日光，或在破壁腰中，静对着象喇叭似的牵牛花（朝荣）的蓝朵， 自然而然地也能感觉到十分的秋意。说道了牵牛花。我以为以蓝色或白色者为佳，紫黑 色次之，淡红色最下。最好，还要在牵牛花底，教长着几根疏疏落落的尖细且长的秋草 ，使作陪衬。 北国的槐树，也是一种能使人联想起秋来的点缀。象花而又不是花的那一种落蕊， 早晨起来，会铺得满地。脚踏上去，声音也没有，气味也没有，只能感出一点点极微细 极柔软的触觉。扫街的在树影下一阵扫后，灰土上留下来的一条条扫帚的丝纹，看起来 既觉得细腻，又觉得清闲，潜意识下并且还觉得有点儿落寞，古人所说的梧桐一叶而天 下知秋的遥想，大约也就在这些深沉的地方。 秋蝉的衰弱的残声，更是北国的特产；因为北平处处全长着树，屋子又低，所以无 论在什么地方，都听得见它们的啼唱。在南方是非要上郊外或山上去才听得到的。这秋 蝉的嘶叫，在北平可和蟋蟀耗子一样，简直象是家家户户都养在家里的家虫。 还有秋雨哩，北方的秋雨也似乎比南方的下得奇，下得有味，下得象样。 在灰沉沉的天底下，忽而来一阵凉风，便息列索落地下起雨来了。一层雨过，云渐 渐地卷向了西去，天又青了，太阳又露出脸来了；著者很厚的青布单衣或夹袄的都市闲 人，咬着烟管，在雨后的斜桥影里，上桥头树底下去一立，遇见熟人，便会用了缓慢悠 闲的声调，微叹着互答着的说： “唉，天可真凉了----”（这了字念得很高，拖得很长。） “可不是么？一层秋雨一层凉了！” 北方人念字，总老象是层字，平平仄仄起来，这念错的岐韵，倒来得正好。 北方人的果树，到秋来，也是一种奇景。第一是枣子树；屋角，墙头，茅房边上， 灶房门口，它都会一株株地长大起来。象橄榄又象鸽蛋似的这枣子颗儿，在小椭圆的细 叶中间，显出淡绿微黄的颜色的时候，正是秋的全盛时期；等枣树叶落，枣子红完，西 北风就要来了。北方便是尘沙灰土的世界，只有这枣子、柿子、葡萄成熟到八九分的七 八月之交，是北国的清秋的佳日，是一年之中最好也没有的Golden Days。 有些批评家说，中国的文人学士，尤其是诗人，都带着很浓厚的颓废色彩，所以中 国的诗文里，颂赞秋的文字特别的多。但外国的诗人，又何尝不然？我虽则外国诗文念 得不多，也不想开出帐来，做一篇秋的诗歌散文钞，但你若去一翻英德法意等诗人的集 子，或各国的诗文的Anthology来，总能够看到许多关于秋的歌颂与悲啼。各著名的大 诗人的长篇田园诗或四季诗里，也总以关于秋的部分，写得最出色而最有味。足见有感 觉的动物，有情趣的人类，对于秋，总是一样的能特别引起深沉，幽远，严厉，萧索的 感触来的。不单是诗人，就是被关在牢狱里的囚犯，到了秋天，我想也一定会感到一种 不能自己的深情；秋之于人，何尝有别，更何尝有人种阶级之分呢？不过在中国，文字 里有一个“秋士”的成语，读本里又有着很普遍的欧阳子的秋声与苏东坡的赤壁赋等， 就觉得中国的文人，与秋的关系特别深了，可是这秋的深味，尤其是中国的秋的深味， 非要在北方，才感受得底。 南国之秋，当然是也有它的特异的地方的，比如廿四桥的明月，钱塘江的秋潮，普 陀山的凉雾，荔枝湾的残荷等等，可是色彩不浓，回味不永。比起北国的秋来，正象是 黄酒之与白干，稀饭之与馍馍，鲈鱼之与大蟹，黄犬之与骆驼。 秋天，这北国的秋天，若留得住的话，我愿把寿命的三分之二者去，换得一个三分 之一的零头。 郁达夫 一九三四年八月，在北平 |
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